A Wintery Feeling

Tis The Season

I shiver as I stand outside

trying to warm my outsides by sipping alertness from my cup

In the distance a sliver of peachy-pink from the morning sun

peeks up over a far away hilltop
Closer, barren trees have thrown their shelter of leaves to the ground

to let them dance away in the piercing chill of the wind
Lights blink on nearby rooftops

as if to say Good Morning to the drivers-by

while busses stop to pick up bundles of children eagerly waiting

for the wishes they sent to Santa to magically appear under the tree
The hope of a better tomorrow weighs heavily on the hearts of parents

knowing the smell of the holiday season is in the air

Before I Was A Mom

12-5-08
One of my favorite emails. It's right into what I feel. I even added a few of my own. Things never really seemed so important until I became a mom.
My life changed and I must say it was for the better. There is no real joy like that of your own child’s smile or giggle.

Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or sang lullabies
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous
I never thought about immunizations
I had never been puked on - Pooped on - Chewed on - Peed on
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts
I slept all night
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests or give shots
I never looked into teary eyes and cried
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin
I never thought a weed from the front yard could be such a beautiful flower
I never knew that crayon scribbles would be the most beautiful drawings in the world
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much
I never knew that I could love someone so much
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby
I didn't really understand that bond between a mother and her child
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom
I never knew that hearing the word 'Mama' for the first time would make me cry
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much
I never knew I would love being a Mom

1st time Banana Bread

Thanksgiving prep was nuts! I made banana bread for the first time ever, on my own, without my mom’s help.
Yeah! She was proud when I told her.
Then she got a good laugh when I told her the details:
I’m bad at not gathering all my ingredients before I start trying to make something. I did well with the directions this time. I actually read them all in full before I started. Plus 1 for me!
I had all my wet ingredients in a bowl to be mixed together. I start putting the dry ingredients in another bowl when I realize in all my searching that I don’t have baking soda. I am not a baker know it all. I don’t know the baking soda’s purpose but I do know that if a recipe calls for it, you have to have it!
So I called my mother in law who lives in the travel trailer out back because I know she has some. She did have. She threw it out. Since Phillip was at work she came over to watch the kids for a few while I rushed to Dollar General to get some.
There I stand, in panic mode, in the baking isle searching every item, hoping I somehow overlooked the baking soda.
(Dollar General is only 3 minutes from the house but WalMart is the next closest and it’s 15 minutes and it’s 8pm.) I really didn’t want to have to go to WalMart that night.
I found a store person and they got the manager to come help me. It was no where near the baking stuff. It was over by all the car and room deodorizers. Just stupid!
I get home and finally get back to my baking. I measure the flour (which I was gonna buy more of while I was at the store 5 minutes ago) and I’m a half a cup short. Yeah. I call the mother in law (again) and borrow from her. Back in the kitchen, I get stuff mixed together and the pans sprayed and the batter poured and put in the oven. Relief! On to the next thing....

I start putting away everything when I notice that the box of baking soda (that I just bought) isn’t even opened. Oh goodie! Now I have to pull out the pans, dump the batter back into the bowl and hope like hell it comes out right when I’m done. Curses curses curses!
During this fiasco, my 7-year old is sitting at the table, watching me, shaking her head. I tell her to may no attention to me because, believe it or not, this is not how this is supposed to be done. She giggles and tells me I'm weird.
Another thing I know about baking soda is that it’s important to mix it in the dry ingredients to make sure it’s evenly distributed.
So, I dash the baking soda on top of the already mixed batter and use the mixer for what seems like forever. I want to make sure that it all gets mixed in really good.
I re-spray the pans and re-pour the batter and back into the oven they go.
I can only hope and pray that in 1 hour they won’t taste like road kill.
Luckily, success!
Oh so moist (1/2 cup extra bananas). Oh so yummy!

Oh so lucky!
Next year I'll make sure to have all necessary ingredients first. That's the plan, anyway.

Oh for the love of candy!

Trick-or-Treat!

This year Hailey was a model. It is the same costume as last year when she was an actress...minus the shawl and the trophy...add the sway when she walks and the 7 y/o model attitude and all the glitter a girl can wear! We've been watching America's Next Top Model lately and she's really getting into it! I'm sure that was her inspiration.
Peyton was a cat. The only thing she can do on command is meow. I couldn't get her to say 'boo' or anything that resembled 'trick-or-treat.' Altho she didn't meow for a single person until we were walking away and they were well out of earshot. So much for the countless hours of practice with her.
Once Peyton realized that people were willingly putting candy in her bucket or even letting her get her own, she was running to the next spot. Next year will be spent with Phillip and I at full speed, I'm sure. At one point Peyton was getting tired and her little bucket was dragging behind her so I started putting a majority of the candy in Hailey's bucket so Hailey could take the lesser of the two and continue while Phillip carried the full bucket....Peyton was not having it! She actually starting yelling "Mine! Mine!" Too cute.
She earned it, therefore she was keeping it!

Off the track of childlike joy...Phillip and I got to talking on the way home and to the both of us, it just seems weird to go trick-or-treating. Here I am, taking my kids to stranger's houses and telling them that it's okay to ask for candy...even tho they can't eat it until we get home b/c I have to check it to make sure nobody tampered with it. Maybe I'm the nut.

Why do we enfore the rule of 'don't talk to strangers' if we don't really mean it? No wonder kids don't ever believe what their parents say. I felt out of place, like I had to chat with those who seemed like they wanted to chat. It's more difficult with a small child, one you have to take to the door, who's not completely sure of the whole concept.

Phillip and I are more reserved in things like this. I'm sure that as Peyton gets older and Phillip and I are able to stay at the sidewalk and watch, that it might not be so bad. Granted, the feeling of begging will never really go away.

I hope that as the kids get older and are out doing their own thing that if trick-or-treaters come to our door times will have changed enough that stranger and poisoned candy and begging are no longer a worry. I know, it will never happen but...

'Anais'

My dear friend.

It's been at least 5-years since we met. When I think about it, I don't know how we are friends in some aspects. We are opposites in so many ways. She is all about nature and saving the planet in whatever way she can to help. Even if it is simply by education. I don't know the first thing about it.

I think we balance each other perfectly tho. What we lack in ourselves, we find in the other. 'Anais' has shed a lot of light on things I wish I had the time for.

She is going to school to become a marine biologist. She volunteers at the Dallas Aquarium and the soup kitchen downtown. She always seems to be involved in something of importance.

I hope that when Peanut is old enough for school that I will be able to find the time to do even half of what 'Anais' is doing.

She is the sweetest and always tries to make time for all things she is passionate about, even if it means spreading herself so thin that it wears her down.

I love being back here just simply because I have a dear friend I can get together with.

Quotes by Anais Nin :

"Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it."

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/anais_nin.html

She is the best and most thoughtful person I've ever been privileged to call my Friend.

2008 Fall Festival at the Dallas Arboretum

Since we've been back in the Dallas area, I am determined to get out and do more. Phillip is getting better at wanting to do this as well so it no longer feels like I am pulling teeth to go on a family outing. He wants the girls to remember the things we did as a family. Something he never really had growing up.

In wanting to get out and do, we went to the Arboretum. Something I never would've thought of before if it wasn't for Anais.

Right now they have the Great Pumpkin Festival going on. Pretty fall colors (odd for north Texas) and hay bales and pumpkins galore!! There were pumpkin shapes I had never seen before. Everything was so pretty. When you log onto the website(http://www.dallasarboretum.org/) you get a glimpse of what they have but it doesn't compare to seeing it in person. So beautiful!

They had a hay bale maze and a 15' Pumpkin house. All of the walkways were lined on both sides with pumpkins and there was a big area you could let the kids run and try to get that 'perfect fall picture.' The Arboretum is right on White Rock Lake and when you are standing on the hill looking down towards the concert stage area (they were playing beautiful piano music the day we went) the lake is in the background. It was full of sailboats. Another lovely site.

Normally it is scorching hot here all the time but we've been lucky enough to experience some really great cool fall days lately with just enough of a breeze that it made for a perfect day.

I love taking pictures of the girls so this was a ton of fun for me. I am the 'picture-taker.' Hardly ever will you see me in a picture but I do have loads of Phillip and the girls. I got over 60 pictures, 4 videos and about a dozen pics of just scenery. I am only in 5 of those pictures.

I am really looking forward to Holiday at the Arboretum featuring The Nutcracker display. It starts November 22.

I love the fall!

Gregory House, M. D.

Gregory House, M.D.

(Hugh Laurie)

I found myself doing a countdown. I was counting the days until the new season of House started. Just the thought of the show coming back on put a smile on my face. Now that it is back on, I look forward to every Tuesday (my favorite day anyway). DO NOT bug me when the show is on. I will lose it! Am I obsessed? It depends on how you look at it.

You have to have a certain appreciation for sarcastic people. A Love, if you will. I think my love for the show has a lot to do with the humor and bold sarcasm of the character. House is extremly great at what he does and point-blank. If only all people could be like that.

Everybody is so worried about how the other person will take it if you are a little more outspoken. Is being outspoken really that bad? It must be, because outspoken is something I am not. It is unfortunate.

I wish I could be an ass sometimes. I wish I could tell people what I think and not give a care as to how they would react. House is a complete ass. Maybe that is part of my love for the show. Of course, if you dig deep enough into that hard-core surface there is a soft spot...or two.

If my husband were most like anyone in show business, it would be House! I see a lot of my husband in this character so maybe I am obsesssed.

The same things that made me fall in love with him and the same things that irritate me about my husband are what I find attractive in this character. One of Phillip's greatest feats: that no matter the situation, he can always make me laugh. I do love that!

My next countdown? CSI!